Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Blogs are for venting

Sorry to whoever reads this. Be warned in the next paragraph I shall be unleashing my rage and sorrow for what happened to me this week. So if you hate hearing other people's problems or are afraid of cuss words please run away. I truly believe blogs are therapeutic....especially in break ups.
(Note: I'm not the type of person who likes to talk about my personal life, but oh well I'm pissed. I need to vent.)

Yesterday, I broke up with my boyfriend of one month (actually two if you count me trying to call him and never getting an answer.) Now one month doesn't seem a lot, but he was my first boyfriend. I'm quite insecure and never had great experiences in high school. He was the first one that may have returned the same feeling I had for him.

We hanged out together and watched movies together. It was so much fun, and admittedly I really thought I was in love. Our relationship was going great, but sometimes he didn't include me in certain things. I was frankly surprised he didn't tell his family about me. Well, then came my Florida vacation. On the trip, I bought souvenirs just for him. Then, I came back, which led to the excrutiating four weeks of not being able to get a hold of him. I called him, emailed him, and when I did get a hold of him "oh, I'm busy shit." After a couple weeks, I started to wonder "does he hate me?", "does he have another girl", and "did he die?" I worried about it everyday and had constant insomnia and depression.

I only finally got to see him again this week. We go to the same school together. Well, I finally got to meet up with him. I could tell he was uneasy, damn uneasy. We talked and walked for a bit. Then, I finally couldn't take it anymore. "Am I still your girlfriend?" I asked. He replied, "Good question." (Smart Ass. I really should have kicked him or punch him at that point.) "Well, I don't feel like a relationship right now. But I'm really sorry how I treated you." (No shit. At this point I should have cried or yelled, but being the damn too nice person I am I merely said, "Oh well sometimes that happens. Damn I really should have yelled at him.)

I finally cried when I came home. I rode on a bus for an hour and was directly across a couple that were cuddling each other. Just terrible. My sisters thought he was a coward and has no balls lol. For goodness sakes he couldn't even dump me. Asshole bastard.

I doubt he would read this, but if you do, now you understand why you suck soo much.
Thank you blog. I feel much better now.
Now what should I do with the gifts I bought him?


Bemmie said...

Okay. . . What kind of jerk waits until he is confronted about problems in a relationship??? I think I need to have a "little talk" with this guy.
I also think that you could obviously do better. . . Definitely date other guys that aren't afraid of. . . well. .. everything.

Enoch Allen said...

Venting is good for one’s mental health. That’s a good idea for a public service announcement!

Stay Sane and Vent, boys and girls!

All kidding aside, I’m terribly sorry about what happened to you. But, if I may make a suggestion, the events which are going on in your life--makes for terrific material to put in a story that you might want to tell in the near future. Nearly all good storytellers, once or twice in their lifetime, write autobiographies which are sometimes ugly, tragic and depressing. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be worth reading.

All of which leads to me saying that for all of the drama in the post, it‘s a great read. Keep on postin’!


Melon which rhymes with said...

Thanks guys I really needed the support.

Enoch, they really should make public announcements about how blogs are therapeutic lol.

Yes, I should put this in my memoir under the title "The Crap I Deal With." Oh well at least I have more time to spend with my true love, Xiao Bao of course. Guinea love is the best love. :D

Bemmie said...

You could also give your faithful blog readers the gifts you had bestowed upon the jerk. . . Or ebay is another good option too.

Jon said...

Ok, my first few times dating never whent well either. Idon't want to take his side, because he didn't handle things very well at all, but I do want to shine some light on it.

It's his first relationship to and I did worse with them. He's justa as nervous as you, but you had the gusto to stand up and ask him directly what was going on. Kudos to that btw. He had no idea what he was really doing, or want he wanted to do, or what he should have done. I am merely speculateing, but it sounds to me like he feels badly about it and can only see what he did wrong when looking back. I think he is sorry, but still not innocent. Like the law says, ignorance is not a defense. But at least you should have no regrets, you did everything that you should have and could have. Plus you were really brave, especailly considering this was your first relationship. Be proud.